My grandpa is a sailor, some of my favorite memories are of sailing camp when we would spend a week on my grandpas 35 foot sailboat and go to class every morning on the end dock. On any given year there were between 4 and 7 kids on the boat as well as Grandaddy, all sharing the teeny space. One of Grandaddy's favorite sayings is "A place for everything, and everything in its place." Even though I am a naturally messy person, I tried my darnedest to keep his boat tidy. Now as an adult I have a love of clean spaces and nothing stresses me more than clutter and junk.
I have three little kids. My house is rarely clean and tidy. I have a great want for my children to take pride in hard work and a job well done. But actually instilling this into a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 year old is the trick.
I was sick of yelling at my kids all day long to pick up their stuff, just to end up cleaning it all when they went to bed. So I came up with this little trick to help them keep their room as beautiful as the one above (well I can dream, can't I? Love that room!).
I am a big fan of natural consequences, it takes a ton of the stress out of parenting to have the punishment be the bad guy -not you. Let them know that X will happen if they do Y ahead of time, and then they do X happens (and you follow through with Y) you can say " I am really sorry that X happened, maybe next time you will choose something better". Don't save you kids from natural consequences, let them learn to be responsible when the cost to learn is low.
Anyways, back to the trick. So I sat Audrey down and told her that she is a big girl and that I really need her to help me out more. I explained how important it is to me that she grows up to be a hard worker, and that the only way for that to happen is if she practices a lot. I told her that her room and her things are her responsibility, and that if I have to clean them up then I get to take all the stuff. If she wants anything back she has to do an extra chore for each item. The next day she had left a large amount of toys in the living room. I asked her to clean them up. She protested in some dramatic way that was ignored. I then told her how much time I thought was reasonable to get it cleaned, set a timer and went about my business. I told my two year old a simpler version - basically "Please clean your toys or I take them away"
When the timer went off, I quietly grabbed an old diaper box and loaded all the toys up. I explained again what she needed to do to get them out. She spent the rest of the day willingly washing windows, sweeping floors, she even mopped the bathroom. Every time I turned around she was asking what else she could do.
Since then, when her room is messy, I ask her to clean it and tell her how much time i think it should take. A lot of the time she wont even walk into her room. I will remind her a few times, but when the time is up I go in and put it all in a box. Most of the stuff she has not missed at all, and the things left over from last time I either donate or place in a box in the basement to bring out as rewards later on. It is amazing though, not only how many toys my kids have, but how few they are now totally content with.
Less is more, we have too much crap in our lives.
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